How to read anyone: the 6 social needs

It's not about what they say. It's what they need from you when they say it.

The idea comes from Chase Hughes. He calls it the 6 Social Needs, and teaches it at his behavior training on Neuro-Cognitive Intelligence.

Every person, in every conversation, signals one of these needs:

• Significance: "they still call me for advice." I matter.
• Approval: "not sure I'll be great tomorrow." Tell me I'm good enough.
• Acceptance: "everyone took care of each other." I belong.
• Intelligence: "the data shows something different." I'm the smartest here.
• Pity: "the system was against me." Feel sorry for me.
• Power: "I made every key decision." I'm in control.

This is gold for reading a customer.

Behind every expressed need sits a hidden one, and it falls into one of the six. A feature, a discount, a faster reply, that is the surface. The real driver is significance, control, approval.

This is the core of customer discovery. The need they pursue hardest is the one they most fear losing. Hear it under the request and you stop guessing what they actually want.

The more you understand your customers, the more you can help them.

Put it into practice two ways:

1. Observe live: when you talk to someone, watch your own signals (which need are you chasing?) and take a guess at the other person's need.
2. Retrospect: revisit a past conversation, identify which of the six needs showed up.

Source: Chase Hughes on The Joe Rogan Experience #2278